From frustration to embarrassment, but I am staying in the “Posh” Corps!

For nearly four months I have been living with two different host families, first in Kratovo

The host family's houe I lived in while in PST in Kratovo.

The bags I lived out of on my bed in Kratovo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and, then Negotino. Living out of my bags while having a room of my own in a host family’s house and all the while longing to have a place of my own.

Host family house where I lived for a month (Living with the parents of my new landlord until my apartment is available).

The sofa bed where I sat to read and also slept.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, I have finally moved into my own apartment.

My apartment is on the 4th floor, above a bank and the courthouse.

I will never forget how very welcoming and extremely nice those host families were and the things they helped me learn about their language and understand about their culture.

My host family in Kratovo.

My host family and parents of my future landlord in Negotino.

 

 

Despite the discomfort a guest feels anytime the stay has gone on too long, sharing a bathroom with another entire family to whom I am a stranger from another country was really wearing on me and probably on them, too. However, we seemed to manage and we developed accommodating routines and schedules to minimize the inconveniences for all concerned. Living out of the bags I had packed back in the first week of September was another source of my  growing frustration of inconvenience.  Although each family was extremely hospitable and did their best to make me feel a welcomed addition to their family and household, there were two things that caused me tremendous amounts of frustration. One was that I was not allowed to participate in certain activities of daily living which I considered second nature back in the States and also an act of an appreciative guest. I was not allowed to carry dishes, etc to the kitchen, In fact, I was not allowed in the kitchen, and I was not even allowed to get up and help clear the table at all. I was routinely ordered to “седите!” (sit!). Now, I have come to appreciate that this was due to two factors. The main factor is the culture here in which men are not expected to be responsible for the preparation of meals, or any work associated with the meals. To be sure, this is changing somewhat among the youger Macedonians, but I was living with older, established families and not only that, but they surely wanted to give me the best hospitality they could demonstrate in terms of their cultural norms. Try as I might to help them understand that my cultural background was different and they could experience some of it if only they would allow me to demonstrate it, there was an additional factor which I could not overcome. That was the reverence and respect they afford older people. I was older than most of the family members and therefore absolutely not allowed to break with their traditions. Many gatherings with friends and relatives included me being asked to tell everyone m age and then everyone would express their amazement that someone my age would travel to another country to work and help others. After all, I should be a “пензионер” (pensioner).

Nearly four months of employing the “grin and bear it” technique to cope with the frustrations led me to a point where all I wanted was a place to call my own and in which I  could comfortably do as I pleased, when I pleased. That definitely included having a kitchen of my own. Throughout all of the months and years that it took me to apply to the Peace Corps, then wait what seemed like an endless time for a formal acceptance and invitation to serve and then wait still longer to actually depart for Staging and the following PST (Pre Service Training), I devoted  a lot of time searching the Internet for reports from actively serving PCVs about their living and working experiences. I read reports from all over the world because I had no idea where I would be assigned and even when I finally did know that, I had no idea what my living situation would be like. Additionally, since I was seeking to serve in the Peace Corps after a long career, I was also seeking some enlightenment regarding how Peace Corps service was for older volunteers. During my career, I had the pleasure of knowing several RPCVs (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers) and heard a lot of first-hand stories about dealing with hardships in terms of living conditions, transportation, etc. I entered into service with no misconceived ideas about what living conditions might be like.

All I wanted was a place of my own. I was confident that I would habituate to whatever conditions I would find. Never, in any of my anticipatory thinking about how I was going to live did I have any preparation for what I was going to discover when, at last, I was informed about my living and working assignment. I was assigned to assist at an NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) that is dedicated to getting people with intellectual disabilities out of old deplorable institutions where they had been warehoused for years by previous political systems. The NGO has as its mission, in addition to the de-institutionalization of those people, to assist them to acquire the necessary self help and activities of daily living life skills in order to live in a community and even obtain some level of employment, if at all possible. I will live in a small city of approximately 15,000 and have my own apartment (!). I finally was able to move into the apartment on the day before Christmas Eve. I was told that it was not quite ready, but as is evident from the following before and after photos, it did not really matter.

Entry

 

Living room - BEFORE

Living room - AFTER

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dining area - BEFORE

 

Dining area – AFTER

 

Living room - BEFORE

Living room - AFTER

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

View from dining area.

So, there it is; an apartment for myself. As good as that appears, the BEST part is that I have a kitchen to call my own and that I can use when and how I want!

My own kitchen, at last!

And now, after all of the months and years of anticipating having to live without perhaps running water, without electricity and without any kind of living conditions above minimum necessities, I find myself living in an apartment as nice as the townhouse I left in the States when I departed to serve in the Peace Corps. If having my own kitchen wasn’t enough, I also have an indoor bathroom, complete with hot and cold running water, a tub with a shower and even a washing machine!

Bathroom with washing machine!

Now, I am no longer going to suffer for creature comforts, but I certainly have to give second thought about with whom I might share these photos within the Peace Corps community. While I am certainly proud of my service in the Peace Corps, I now have a huge embarrassment about my PC lifestyle that is not likely to go away.I will understand when other PCVs in other parts of the world refer disdainfully to us here in Macedonia as being in the “Posh” Corps. I console myself knowing that those serving in the Caribbean are disdainfully referred to as being in the “Beach” Corps and somehow seems more derogatory to me, or perhaps I need to feel that way in order to cope with the daily embarrassment of my situation. Regardless, I am here and I will do my best for the people I came to assist.

I have gone from years of anticipating having to endure multiple living condition hardships to months of frustration to an ongoing high degree of embarrassment, but I am doing what I have longed to do and I am staying with it and enjoying what I can while living on a few dollars per day and sorely missing family and friends back in the States while working to assist an NGO in a developing country to improve the lives of people with intellectual disabilities.